Better Get Cracking, Platinum Dunes!

As I began reading this when I found it, I was almost salivating with excitement, till the timeline had me scratching my head, then realization dawned on me with an almighty “DOH!”

The New Line Cinema board of directors was forced to step up all production aspects of a sequel to February’s Friday the 13th film when they suddenly realized yesterday that Friday the 13th happens in March as well.

Producers say they had not anticipated another Friday the 13th, which has scientifically been found to be second only to Labor Day as the scariest day of the year, until much later, and planned their timelines accordingly.

“Releasing these movies on a scary day is an absolute must, because otherwise, the movie-going public could easily confuse our venerable horror franchise with a new Harry Potter movie,” said Toby Emmerich, President of New Line Productions. “But when we scheduled Friday the 13th for February of 2009, we figured that we’d have at least a few months or a year before the next one came around to plan for a sequel.”

“Or a prequel,” he added.

Now, producer Michael Bay is tasked with pulling together another installment in the franchise in less than a month’s time. Bay says hitting the date is absolutely crucial to his “vision of artistic whatnot” — namely, promotional opportunities.

“There’s no way we’re letting such a great marketing tool slip away,” Bay said, adding that he would advance the next Friday the 13th installment “even if all we have for a trailer is a hockey mask, and blood coming out of the hockey mask to form the words ‘This Friday the 13th, Evil Comes Home To Hell…Again’. The hockey mask would then explode.”

If you’re in on the joke yet and want the rest, follow this link. If you still fall for it after my ample warnings, there’s just no hope for you.

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Dusk

16 Responses to “ Better Get Cracking, Platinum Dunes! ”

  1. HAHAHAHAHA!!! Very good!! well done to them!!!!! :D I WISH THEY COULD DO IT THAT QUICK!!!!!!

  2. LOL! thats great! “18 breast count quota”…hahahahaha

  3. $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

  4. I’d like to see part 2 in 2010 and part 3D in 2011 before we see Freddy again.

    Don’t forget the 29 year rule.

  5. I heard there getting warrington gillette to play Jason in this one. Hopefully this time his asshole won’t be do sore from getting fucked by multiple guys so he can do his own stunts.

  6. Actually, the scariest day of the year, is not Friday the 13th. It’s April the 15th…lol

  7. I wonder if they’ll show a new trailer for the movie. How could they not. I’m definitely gonna see it next Friday.

  8. That made my whole fuckin morning haha.

    I also finally got my hands on a copy of crystal lake memories yesterday! so far its an amazing read! … and I mean AMAZING

  9. many entries of the series look like they were made in a week. they should do it.

    how about a lost tales from camp blood entry that actually has jason in it? that would only take a couple days.

  10. “I heard there getting warrington gillette to play Jason in this one. Hopefully this time his asshole won’t be do sore from getting fucked by multiple guys so he can do his own stunts.”

    *LMAO* Dear heavenly Christ, did that ever make my morning. I don’t know why, but as such a hardcore Part 2 fanatic, I simply CANNOT stomach seeing Warrning in any special features or the His Name Was Jason Documentary.

    And to the person who finally got they’re hands on a copy of Crystal Lake Memories: Indeed it is an amazing book. I actually got two copies form Amazon, as I first got it off eBay breifly when it was out of print before it’s second pressing, used from a woman from up-state New York, and finally I wanted another two copies for always. One I haven’t evn took off the sealed shrink wrapping yet, and I keep it safely locked away, whil another is always displayed with my genre memorerabelia of DVDs and posters.
    :D

  11. Please no prequel, please, SEQUEL!

  12. THere will be yet another friday the 13th this year in NOVEMBER. So many this year. That’s awesome!

  13. well, if they ever made part 2, i say they ACTUALLY remake “Part 2″ and have all sack head jason with the story line….. i think that would be kool.

  14. http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=52693480

    HAHAHAHA

  15. wow…3 Friday the 13ths this year…3 awesome Friday the 13th parties!!! HAHA!

  16. im confused here so they are filming a trailer??

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